


The Daily Lives of James S. Potter

by Tsubasa Kurono (kurotsuba)



Series: A Snitch in Time: Harry Potter and a Series of Unrelated Events [11]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Best Friends, Challenge Response, Chamber of Secrets, Comedy, Contest Entry, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Cross-Posted on Wattpad, Dark Comedy, Drama, Dungeon, Experimental Style, F/M, Family Drama, Father-Son Relationship, Fluff and Humor, Friendship, Gen, Gryffindor, Harry Potter Next Generation, Hogwarts, Hogwarts First Year, Humor, Invisibility Cloak, Japanese Character(s), Japanese Mythology & Folklore, Knight Bus, M/M, Misadventures, Modern Marauders (Harry Potter), Multi, One Shot, One Shot Collection, Original Character(s), Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net, Parkour, Parody, Potions, Quidditch, Ravenclaw, Satire, Shell Cottage, Short, Shorts, Slice of Life, The Marauder's Map
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-29
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-01-06 19:46:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,442
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12217695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kurotsuba/pseuds/Tsubasa%20Kurono
Summary: A collection of random shorts giving you nosy muggles a glimpse into the mundane misadventures of the one and only James Sirius Potter, a.k.a. the eldest son of the equally fabulous Harry Potter. Are you ready for some explosive boredom?T for darker humor—because it's James "Serious" Potter, geddit?[IRREGULAR]Latest:"Stairway to Hell" - when James utterly regrets his decision to bet his life on a dangerous whim.





	1. James S. Potter and his September the First

**JAMES S. POTTER**  
**…and his September the First**

The morning of September the First opened with the Potter household in a chaotic chorus of banging doors, screaming kids and flying cutlery. Even James wasn't spared from the din—he was mercilessly woken up from his sweet Quidditch dream by his younger siblings, who threw themselves on top of him and were trying to crush him in his quilt blanket.

He kicked them out of his room and surveyed the mess he had piled up over the summer: crumpled parchments and broken quills littered around the wooden floor mixed with muggle papers and ballpoint pens, the umpteenth time he had broken his cartoon lion alarm clock, his trunk was still not packed and lay open at the foot of his bed, and his new school robes were tangled in a heap with his dirty clothes…

He couldn't help but let out an annoyed groan. His mother would probably love to take this opportunity to strip his room bare together with the ancient and foul-mouthed house-elf Kreacher. Sighing, he dumped the trash into the enchanted bin, which choked angrily when he threw his muggle textbooks rather violently into it. He didn't care—he was very glad that he wouldn't have to see those boring teachers ever again. He was certain that his first day at Hogwarts would be a blast just like the stories he heard from his parents and older relatives.

"James!" He was startled by Ginny's voice just outside his door. "Breakfast is ready, so hurry up!"

Picking up his school supplies that were scattered everywhere in his room, he then chucked them all into the trunk before he finally slammed down the lid and dragged it down the stairs. The smell of bacon filled his nose and his stomach growled loudly, which sent Albus and Lily into a giggling fit.

"James," Ginny looked up after she set down the plate of scrambled eggs on the dining table. "Why are you still in your pajamas?"

"Jamesie going to school in ugly pajamas!" Albus chanted, in an attempt to rile him.

The older brother rolled his eyes. That little twerp was probably trying to get back at him for the time that James sent him screaming for mummy when he dropped a wriggling millipede down the inside of the back of his shirt.

"Shut up, midget."

" _James._ " Ginny narrowed her brown eyes at him. "Sit down and eat quickly. We're running late."

"Sorry, Mum."

They finished their food quietly but not without a silent kicking match under the table, which James won and made Albus fall off his seat. That earned him a whack on the back of his head and a hex threat from his mother before he changed into a plain white shirt, a pair of faded jeans and his new sneakers.

His father, Harry, finally arrived to fetch them and bring them to King's Cross station, but they were suddenly told that they would be traveling by the Knight Bus—which received angry chirps from Albus and Lily, who were expecting a Ministry car.

James wished that he hadn't gobble down half a plate of sausages during breakfast just now.


	2. James S. Potter and a Rainy Misunderstanding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James and his friends take a nasty trip across the moors to pay a visit to the home of the last member in their little troublemaking team… only to get themselves wet in crap. Not to mention, a series of terrible jokes.

**JAMES S. POTTER**  
**…and a Rainy Misunderstanding**

James Potter could finally check off all the names of his little gang on his must-visit list before they were all sent off to Hogwarts for another school year (of mayhem, of course). After hours of stifling hot train ride up north to Scotland and nearly being thrown off a stinking wagon that smelled like cow dung as they rocked their way down a bumpy, winding dirt road, James and two of his three best friends—housemate Miyu Kisaragi and Tobey Rider from Ravenclaw—finally reached their destination: the residence of the last member of their group, Raven Taylor, also from Ravenclaw (if his name wasn't obvious enough).

In middle of the lush, overarching moor of Aberdeenshire was a turret-like house that stood tall among the scattered cottage houses across the bare grassland. On closer look, the tower felt intimidating with the gloomy, ominous exterior against the sea of green in the background, surrounded by a fence of black ivies with a murder of crows circling the sky around the tower roof. Hanging off before ivy-free gate was a wooden plate with a crudely carved name: _The Luscinia_.

"Well," Tobey was the first to break the awkward silence. "So… this is where Raven lives?" The wrinkled nose on his face was more than enough to express his honest opinion at the sight of the strange house that clashed horribly with the beautiful landscape.

James couldn't have agreed more. "An escort to bring us here would've been nice," he added. "Now we all smell like muck."

Miyu, however, merely shrugged and dragged his trunk through the unlocked gate. "Come on, we haven't got all day." He glanced up at the overcast sky. "Unless you don't mind an outdoor shower instead."

The moment he had spoken those words, a light drizzle began to fall, and in no time the three boys were utterly drenched in the raging thunderstorm.

"Bloody hell," Tobey exclaimed, groaning at how the wet cow dung was running down his skin in the rain. "This is absolutely _disgusting_! You shouldn't have said that, damn it!" He turned to glower at Miyu, but only received a nonchalant shrug in response.

Ignoring their banter, James went up to the front door and hammered hard against the oak wood, giving no thought to the griffin door knocker. "Raven! We're here! Let us in, quickly!"

No one answered.

He tried again but to no avail. Frustrated, he pulled out his wand in attempt to use the Alohomora Charm, only to be stopped by Miyu. "We can't use magic outside of school, you know. Maybe the Taylors aren't home yet."

"Great," Tobey grumbled, cringing as he removed his coat to reveal the poop-dyed shirt underneath. "Now what?"

"Like I said, we might as well bathe here, right now." With that, Miyu began to pull his shirt over his head.

"Wait, _what?_ " Tobey couldn't believe his ears. "Are you crazy? What if people—"

"—'see us', you mean?" James finished his sentence for him. "Not like we're worth peeping at, especially in this heavy downpour."

Tobey gave a sideways glance at the Japanese boy. "Oh really. I mean, Miyu looks like a girl with his baby face."

"We can barely see the silhouette of the nearest residence," said James, following suit after Miyu to take off his own clothes. "And we're just going to get soaked in cow dung if we don't remove our clothes."

Tobey knew a losing battle when he saw one. "Alright, fine, I get it!" he snapped as he started to unbutton his shirt. "Raven's really going to get it from me when I see him later."

As the trio were about to strip off their undergarments, James could hear the sound of approaching footsteps. Faint against the splattering rain, but there was no mistake of the squeaking noise of a boot that met the muddy ground with a steady rhythm. "Someone's coming."

"Blimey!" Tobey almost fell over his feet from turning around too abruptly to see a shadowy figure looming nearer to the trio. "I hate him to see us like this…"

"Not like he cares, anyway." James rolled his eyes, already stripped down to his underwear. "All of us are boys, yeah? Unless you're secretly gay for him." He sniggered, earning a wet slap on the back from Tobey.

"Is this what we should do in a thunderstorm?" The figure was indeed Raven, with a purple umbrella in his hand and bright yellow waterproof boots on his feet. "Should I join you all?" He glanced between his three other friends, his eyes shining with curiosity.

"Please, no. Just don't." Tobey was horrified at Raven's innocence. "It's not what you think."

"Stop being a killjoy, Tobey. We're all showering in the rain." James couldn't stop laughing. "Join us, Raven!"

Much to Tobey's annoyance, Raven closed his umbrella and was soon completely soaked in the downpour. "This is certainly a refreshing way to take a bath, I must say."

" _God damn it, Raven,_ " Tobey's sanity was at its limit. "You misunderstood him—it's just a stupid pun! Just let us into your house already!"

"I thought we're showering here—" Even as he was opening the door, Raven still couldn't let go of the pun he clearly didn't catch on. However, he was cut off by the chorus of the disgruntled trio.

" _No._ Joke time's over."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompts:  
> THC | [Y1R7] Drabble | [Event] Caught under the rain, [Word] Misunderstood
> 
> Inspiration:  
> "[The Houses Competition](https://www.fanfiction.net/forum/The-Houses-Competition/202668)" by MoonlightForgotten.


	3. James S. Potter and the Summer Wars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the summer vacation, and Ginny decides to put Quidditch together with water balloon fighting above the sea. The result is obviously disastrous.

**JAMES S. POTTER**  
**…and the Summer Wars**

If there was one thing that James Potter would get excited about on a sweating hot summer day, it would obviously be Quidditch. He had heard so many stories about how his parents, Uncle Ron, and even Uncle George had practice matches in the apple orchard back in their younger days, but this would be the first time he could join in the Weasley's family tradition. Not to mention, a chance to prove himself—that he got the Seeker position to play for the Gryffindor house with his own skills, not because of his father's celebrity status.

His best pals, Miyu Kisaragi (a Gryffindor just like James himself) and Tobey Rider from Ravenclaw had arrived at Shell Cottage the day before. James could never forget the sight of their sooty-black faces when they were thrown out of the fireplace via the Floo Powder Network, much to Tobey's chagrin over flying dust and coughing fits.

"Looks like he's much better today." Miyu whispered as he peeked into Tobey's room through the keyhole, with a stupid grin on his face. "I couldn't stand listening to his horrible, broken voice when he was whining about his burning throat the whole night."

"Yeah, he sounded worse than a dying toad," James tittered behind his Japanese friend. "Uncle George reckons someone must've accidentally given him one of those old joke candies instead of the 'Panadol' thing he was moaning about." He then turned to give Miyu a look. "What the hell is this 'Panadol', anyway?"

"Muggle pills to treat colds," Miyu explained as he followed after James down the stairs. "Nasty stuff. Well, all meds are disgusting, magical or not."

"Leave him alone," Rose Weasley, one of James' younger cousins, chided at them over her book ( _Hogwarts: A History, 21st Century Edition_ ) from an armchair as the boys were cutting through the living room. "Don't you two have any compassion for your sick friend?"

"Mind your own business, Rosie," James retorted back. "Or you're just taking out on us because you won't see your precious Scorpius Slimeball until the end of summer." Rose glared at him in return and hid herself behind her book once more, but not without James catching a deep shade of scarlet on her face.

"That's harsh," Miyu commented once they were out of Rose's earshot. "Yeah, I know she's a snotty goody two-shoes, but there's no need to go that far."

"Whatever, she deserves it for that annoying, bossy attitude," James waved him off. "Let's go grab our brooms. I can't wait to play."

* * *

"And… here we are." Ginny Potter gestured at the 'pitch' they would be playing with a flourish: the open sea that stretched on before the cottage, with the sea breeze slapping so hard into everyone's faces that James swore he could literally taste salt in the very air around him. He noticed a metal bucket next to his mother's ankle, and he wondered what was inside.

Looking around, James couldn't help raising an eyebrow at the players assembled today. He ignored his twerp brother, Albus, who was making a face at him; Ron Weasley gave him a high five when he ran up to his godfather, then another from Uncle George, who stood next to Ron. Aunt Angelina was standing slightly behind George, flanked by her two children, Fred and Roxanne, and their cousin Louis Weasley just beside the Roxanne, with a grumpy look on his otherwise handsome face.

Those who weren't playing were gathered near the front door. Starting from the left were Bill and Fleur Weasley's photogenic daughters: Dominique and Victoire, the latter who had her arms entwined with Teddy Lupin's; followed by Uncle Percy's children, Molly and Lucy, who stood slightly apart from the lovebirds with disgust written all over their faces. Jumping before the taller relatives were James' sister, Lily, and their cousin Hugo, both who were too young to play. They could only join the non-players to watch the game, but not without arming themselves with cheering equipment (Lily with a megaphone from the 2014 Quidditch World Cup, and Hugo with a knitted maroon scarf bearing the words 'WEASLEY IS OUR KING' in huge, gold letters).

Of course, the loudest cheer went to the real superstar among all: his father, Harry Potter—the Boy Who Lived, the Chosen One—yada yada, now the Head Auror in the Ministry of Magic. He had a Firebolt Supreme in his hand, which was also the same broom that James and Miyu had with them.

"Hello Miyu," Harry greeted the Japanese boy with a warm smile. "I'm sorry about Tobey because of the Floo incident. Glad to see that you're okay, at least."

Miyu shook his head; James had to marvel at how his Japanese friend could keep a straight face so effortlessly when he had to look away to hide his smirk. "I'm alright. Tobey's fine too, just coughing up dust in his room." He then gave Harry a short bow. "I want to thank you again for the broom, Mr. Potter."

"Don't worry about it, you're family," Harry waved him off, with the same gesture as how James did a while ago. "I heard that you're playing Chaser for Gryffindor."

"The _best_ ," James had to chip in, beaming at Miyu with pride. Though, that had earned him scathing looks from Fred and Roxanne—after all, their mother had been a Gryffindor Chaser too.

"Bloody hell," Ron whistled at the rolling waters that crashed against the rocks at the bottom of the cliff. "I hate to know what happens when you fall off the broom."

"Oh, puh- _leeze_ ," George, laughed as he gave Ron a slap on the back, causing the latter to squat down quickly to avoid falling off the cliff. "This is brilliant. How long has it been since we last flew together, Angie?"

"George, stop," Angelina giggled, embarrassed at how close her husband's face was to hers, but mainly because all the younger ones were staring at them. "That was _years_ ago."

Ginny rolled her eyes at them, kicking the metal bucket loud enough to get their attention. "Anyway, as I was saying… I'll be the referee, and you lot better play a clean game, your hear me?"

"You're asking the impossible!" George chortled at his sister, pointing to his missing ear. "We can't even hear each other without bellowing into their _holes_!" He mounted his broom and kicked off into the air, his trailing laughter soon drowned by the roaring wind and sea waves. Angelina shook her head and went after her husband; Fred and Roxanne followed suit, and now all of George's family were hovering beyond the cliffside.

Ginny narrowed her eyes at her brother but chose not to snark back, merely pulling out her wand. "You'll be split into two groups, five versus five," she explained as she marked the back of each player with an 'X', either in red or black. "It's a simple dodging game; last team standing wins."

James was happy to be in the same team with Miyu, along with George, Ron, and Roxanne, with the huge black 'X' glowing on their backs; as for the red team, Albus was grouped with Harry, together with Angelina, Fred and Louis. Ginny jabbed her wand hard when she marked George's back, causing the latter to yelp in surprise.

Once everybody was in the air, Ginny walked to the edge of the cliff with the bucket and upturned it, dropping some colored strips into the sea. She pointed her wand at the water and muttered a few words. Dozens of balloons of different colors rose from the sea, floating in the air around the players.

"The balloons are all filled with seawater," Ginny's magically magnified voice boomed at them. "The 'X' on your back will fade bit by bit each time you get hit by the balloons. Once the mark disappears, you'll be out of the game." She paused to catch her breath. "You're allowed to throw the balloons at each other, but _no magic_." She directed the last two words at the adult fliers. George made a face at Ron and Harry, and the three of them sniggered among themselves.

"Each time the balloon is destroyed, it will simply be refilled with seawater again," Ginny went on. "The wind's pretty strong today, so safety first and you can have all the fun you want." With that, she blew her whistle to kick off the game.

George and Ron wasted no time to bombard Angelina and Fred with the nearest saltwater balloons they could get their hands on, and soon the four of them were locked in a fierce battle among themselves, with Roxanne cheering them on from the sideline. Louis tried to sneak an attack from behind Miyu, but the Japanese boy was faster, returning the balloon back to the older one with a kick. James winced when the balloon smacked right into Louis' stunned face and burst apart.

"Heads up!" James ducked his head in time just as Miyu yelled a warning at him, and a bloated balloon sailed past by the tip of his hair. He turned around to see his father grinning at him.

"Not bad," said Harry, a twinkle in his eyes behind the round glasses. "But let's see if you can dodge _that_ too."

James rolled out of his way as a balloon narrowly missed his right elbow. From the corner of his eye, he saw a disgruntled Albus grabbing two more pink balloons, preparing to launch them at his older brother one more time. James gritted his teeth as he tried to regain control over his broom from drifting away in the strong wind. "Hey! Two against one is hardly fair!"

Harry raised an eyebrow at his eldest son's protest. "Ginny said no magic, but she didn't say we couldn't gang up. It's a _team_ battle after all."

"I'll back you up once I'm done with him," Miyu shouted at James and jerked his head at Louis, whose red mark on his back was almost vanishing.

"I can take care of these two by myself," James snorted, narrowing his eyes at Albus. "And I'll start with that midget first." He leaned forward and sped towards his younger brother, sweeping off a blue balloon in mid-air with his free hand. He rocked upwards to dodge a pink balloon from Albus, then threw the blue one down at the younger Potter boy.

Albus received the full blast of seawater in his face, forcing him to stick out his tongue in disgust. He raised a fist and shook it furiously at James. "You coward! Come down here and fight me head on!"

Harry watched his bickering sons with amusement. "Al, calm down—"

In the heat of his rage at his elder sibling, Albus was deaf to Harry's words. He cocked back his right arm and shifted his weight backwards to put more power to launch his remaining pink balloon, but a gust of wind caught him square in the chest and Albus lost his balance, throwing the boy off his broom.

" _Albus!_ " Harry yelled at his falling son in shock; all the other players stopped whatever they were doing and turned to the source of the voice, the grin on their faces turned into horror when they realized what was happening.

James was the first to react. He shot down towards his screaming brother, catching the falling boy by the arm. He then pulled the terrified Albus onto the back of his broom, and flew back to the clifftop.

"Albus! James!" Ginny dashed towards her two sons once James had touched down onto the ground, giving them a fierce hug. "Thank goodness!"

James choked as he squirmed in his mother's crushing embrace, "M-Mom, I… can't breathe."

The rest of the players returned back to the cliff, their furrowed brows of worry relaxed when they saw who Ginny had in her arms. Harry also came back with Albus' broom in his other hand.

"Blimey," Ron spoke up first. "That was scary. Brilliant, but _scary_."

"I… don't know how I did that," James's voice was still hoarse from the stunt. "My body just moved on its own."

"Alright, game's cancelled. Let's get Albus back into the cottage first," Angelina said as she placed a hand on Ginny's shoulder. Ginny glanced at James, but Harry stepped out before their older son.

"I'll take care of him. You can look after Al first."

While James was relieved at the excuse to escape from his mother's fussing, he couldn't help glancing up at Harry. He knew his father wasn't the sort to give long, lecture rants to his children, which made him wonder what Harry would want to talk to him about. Pushing his curiosity to the back of his mind, James followed behind Harry as the latter led them away from the rest of the extended family.

"That save just now," Harry began, looking up at the greying sky. "It reminded me of my Hogwarts days." He turned to face James. "The first time was when I tried to save Neville's—well, Professor Longbottom to you—Remembrall in my first year, and again to get past Professor Flitwick's enchanted keys to protect the Philosopher's Stone from Voldemort. In my second year, I did my best to shake off a rogue bludger that the house-elf Dobby had sent after me."

James listened to his father quietly; he had heard bits and pieces of those stories from his uncles, but he still couldn't help gaping with awe as Harry recounted his school tale.

"In my fourth year, I had to go up against a dragon to snatch the golden egg from under her spiky tails," Harry let out a short laugh at the memory, then he became sombre again. "During the Battle at Hogwarts, I saved Draco Malfoy's life from a raging cursed fire in the Room of Requirement."

Exhaling slowly, Harry went on, "I know you don't like people comparing you to me. You want to be recognized for who you are, not because you're my son."

"I'm not you," James finally spoke after a long silence. "And I can never be you. I'm not your shadow— _I am myself._ "

"Indeed." Harry smiled at the annoyed look his son's face. "Even so, you're still my son—one I'm proud of, and always will be." He placed a fist on James' chest. "It's in here that determines who we are, and who we'll become."

Turning around, he beckoned the younger Potter to follow him back to the cottage. "I know that you'll be a great Seeker, even better than I am." He chuckled. "Though, I wish you can try to get along more with Albus—you do love him a lot, even with all the pranks and name-calling, don't you?"

"No way." James jogged to catch up with Harry, giving his father a smug grin. The small talk did help the boy feel a tad better after the heart-stopping incident. "That'd be the _last_ thing I'm ever going to do."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompts:  
> THC | [Y1R8] Short | [Weather] A very windy day, [Activity] Water balloon fight
> 
> Inspiration:  
> "[The Houses Competition](https://www.fanfiction.net/forum/The-Houses-Competition/202668)" by MoonlightForgotten.


	4. James S. Potter and a Series of (Un)fortunate Events

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bedtime routine for James can be easily summarized in three points:
> 
>   * One, explore around the castle when you're supposed to be in bed.
>   * Two, lead a group of misfits on a stupid dare.
>   * And lastly, always remember that the girl's bathroom is your only sanctuary.
> 


**JAMES S. POTTER**  
**…and a Series of (Un)fortunate Events**

"This is such a terrible idea."

It was the umpteenth time Tobey Rider grumbled about the gang's bedtime routine: exploring the castle grounds when they were supposed to be sleeping in their dormitories, tucked in their comfy four-poster beds. "I've a really bad feeling about this."

James Potter rolled his eyes at his Ravenclaw friend. "Shut up, Tobey. I'm getting sick of your whining."

"Tobey has a point, you know," Raven Taylor piped up next to his eagle housemate as he shuffled a deck of tarot cards in his hands while walking alongside his friends. "The Fool—the main character. A new adventure." He frowned at James but shook his head, opening the second card. "The Emperor, reversed—overconfidence. Blinded by arrogance." Shrugging, he drew the third card, and his eyes widened. "The Tower—change, destruction. Danger."

"Stop being such a wimp," James retorted in a low voice as he pulled out a frayed parchment from his hoodie pocket, waving it before the Ravenclaw boys. "This thing is outdated; besides, we can only do this while we're still in school."

Tapping his wand on the worn-out paper, he muttered, " _I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good._ " Ink began to appear from the spot the wand tip was in contact with the parchment, spreading out to form the words 'Marauder's Map' on the front page.

"This never ceases to amaze me," Tobey whistled over James' shoulder as he leaned closer to see the map. "You said you got it from your dad?" 

"More like he _stole_ it, actually," Miyu Kisaragi, James' Gryffindor partner-in-crime, sniggered. Then his expression became grim once more as he skimmed the parchment under the light of James' wand. "This is the old Hogwarts blueprint. After the Battle at Hogwarts, the areas that were demolished in the war were rebuilt, but they aren't the same as this map anymore." He traced one of the routes with a finger. "Some of the secret passages were destroyed in the wizarding war, while the rest had disappeared to nowhere. Like this one-eyed witch statue—it was already gone before we even came to this school."

"Exactly. _Mischief managed_ ," James sighed, and the map was wiped clean, reverting back to being a blank piece of old parchment. "We need to figure out a way to redraw the changes, or even make a new one on our own. Otherwise it'd be a waste of my grandfather's brilliant creation."

"'Grandfather', you say?" Tobey stared at James with a questioning look.

"Dad wasn't the maker of this map," James explained as he touched the four names on the map with fondness. "He named me after his father—my grandfather, Prongs."

"Oh-kay…" Tobey exhaled slowly, closing his eyes for a brief moment. "But walking around the school like this with an outdated map? You're seriously mental." He turned to glare at James. "It'd only be a matter of time we get caught and then expelled from school."

"Think of it as an _investment_ ," James snapped, not bothering to hide his irritation anymore. "You can't reap what you didn't sow." He pulled out another piece of parchment; this time, it was a crudely drawn map by freehand. "I've already done the areas around the Gryffindor Tower while trying to figure out how to use the Marauder's Map."

"You did?" Tobey arched his eyebrows. "How? I thought someone from your family would've already told you the passwords to make this thing work."

"I _stole_ it, remember?" James gave Tobey a sideways glance. "Well, I just tapped my wand on the map sometimes… and it talked to me. My grandad and his pals are really interesting people. I like their sense of humor."

In which he received a look from the Ravenclaw boys. Miyu simply shrugged and went back to keep his eye on their surroundings, checking for patrolling teachers and nosy prefects.

"I don't know… Sounds like dark magic to me." Tobey didn't seem keen about the map. "This is really advanced stuff—too much for a couple of first-years like us to replicate something so… intricate."

"That's it!" James turned around suddenly and grabbed Tobey's shoulders. "The Restricted Section—that's where we can go to find out! They keep all the advanced magic books in there."

"For Merlin's sake, James," Tobey winced at the pain from the Gryffindor boy's vice-like grip, groaning with exasperated resignation. "This is _really_ a terrible idea."

* * *

Having the Gryffindor and Ravenclaw common rooms high up in a tower was good for the view, but a hassle to get down to the lower floors—especially when they had to navigate through dozens of moving staircases while keeping their heads down, watching out for teachers on patrol and meddlesome prefects. James had thought about nicking the Invisibility Cloak with the map from his father's study, but Miyu's mysterious (and handy) Asian magic tricks felt more efficient than all four of them squeezing together under the cloak and inching towards their destination. 

The lithe Miyu had no trouble slipping through the dimly lit corridors while keeping himself hidden in the shadows at the same time. James had no martial arts background like his Gryffindor friend, but he could still keep up thanks to his own innate athleticism. Sadly, it wasn't the case for his Ravenclaw partners-in-crime, who were lagging behind.

"Blimey, Miyu," Tobey panted after the Japanese boy. "Slow down, will you?"

Raven, on the other hand, had no sense of urgency. He was practically drifting behind his muggle-born housemate, almost like he was taking a midnight stroll rather than sneaking around the castle. "It's a new moon tonight," he murmured, gazing out at the dark sky beyond the arched windows along the hallway. "The sign of a new venture, but also the phase of uncertainty."

James waved off Raven's hazy gibberish, beckoning the Ravenclaws to catch up. "Yeah, whatever, not interested. Just hurry—"

He cut himself off when he walked right into Miyu's back, for the latter had suddenly stopped in his tracks. "It's Filch's cat," Miyu hissed through gritted teeth, pulling James away from the bend. He then signaled wildly at the Ravenclaw boys. "Get back! Hide yourselves!"

"What?" Tobey mouthed in annoyance, but he obeyed all the same. He dragged Raven away from the window and ducked into an empty classroom nearest to them.

As for the Gryffindor pair, they weren't so lucky. A quick glance around them told James that they had nowhere to hide themselves. While he was racking his brains trying to think of a way out, Miyu merely pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket, tearing it up into pieces.

"What are you doing?"

"Just watch," Miyu silenced him with a firm tone. "Not the kind of spell I like to use, but dire situation calls for dire measures."

James raised his eyebrows as he watched the Japanese boy poking his head around the corner carefully, muttering some words in a language that he didn't understand before blowing the bits of paper, and they flew around the bend.

Miyu didn't bother to wait around and see if his weird magic worked; he grabbed James' arm and dragged him down the corridor in the opposite direction in a mad dash.

"W-Wh-What was that for?" James gasped when they finally stopped running.

" _Onmyodo_ is the brand of magic my family uses," the equally breathless Miyu explained. "We can summon spirits and demons, sometimes even minor deities, to assist us with _ofuda_ —paper talismans."

"So… you basically summoned something to create a diversion?"

"A _jorogumo_ —spider lady demon." Miyu's face wrinkled with disgust at the name. "I'm not strong enough yet to summon the creature herself—just called forth a few of her underlings—but they're still revolting to look at. I feel bad for Mrs. Norris, but that was the best distraction I could think of."

James could feel a chill running down the back of his spine. "I most certainly don't want to know the rest." He glanced around at the unfamiliar corridor around them. "And… I think we're lost."

"Sorry," Miyu bowed his head. "Wasn't looking where we were going."

"Nah," James waved his apology off and pulled out the Marauder's Map. The two boys quickly pinpointed their current location on the map, which stated they were a few steps away from a girl's bathroom. Tobey's and Raven's name was labelled along the hallway adjacent to where the Gryffindors were.

…Except that there was one more name heading in the Ravenclaws' direction.

"It's Filch," James groaned. "This _filth_ is everywhere!"

Miyu seemed to have regained his usual muted demeanor, though he had to set his jaw to keep his face straight at the pun that James had made. "If we don't think of something to stop the caretaker, Tobey's so going to kill us tomorrow. And I can't summon another spirit after that one on Mrs. Norris without making a blood sacrifice this time."

"Let's not do that," James shuddered at the last line. He glanced down at the map again, and an idea came to him. "Okay, I know this sounds crazy, but we'll make it work… somehow." He tapped his wand at another name not too far from Filch's. "We're going to borrow his help."

"Peeves?" Miyu arched an eyebrow with amusement. "I don't know… but doesn't hurt to try."

"You can do the other magic with your papers, right?" James asked his friend as his mind began to formulate a plan. "The puppet trick."

"Oh, that." Miyu's lips curled into a smirk. "This is going to be fun."

* * *

It didn't take the Gryffindor boys long to set up the trap. Miyu had quickly created a handful of paper dolls, which James used the Levitation Charm to scatter them towards the adjacent corridor. Their Charms teacher, Professor Flitwick, would have been proud if he could see the scale of his spell—when he was still a mere first-year student!

"Alright," James muttered to Miyu when all the preparations were done. "I'll give you the signal, and you can unleash those paper dolls on Filch. Then I'll use the distraction to lead Peeves here, and we can get our Ravenclaw friends out from under their noses while they're having a blaming war with each other."

"This plan is so wrong on many levels," Miyu sighed, but a grin broke out on his face, giving James a thumbs-up. "But hey, yolo."

" _Yolo?_ "

"Acronym for 'you only live once'." Miyu seemed amused at how clueless James was about current muggle trends. "It's quite popular on the internet."

"Right." James shrugged, his attention back to the map. "Here they come. You have three seconds." He raised three fingers at Miyu. "Three… Two… _One!_ "

With a snap of the Japanese caster's fingers, Miyu's paper dolls that were floating around suddenly sprang to life, swarming around the alarmed caretaker before they started to attack him. James sniggered under his breath at the satisfying yelp coming from the next corridor as he sprinted towards Peeves' location. 

He found the poltergeist applying some gooey green substance on the door of the boys' bathroom with a paintbrush, cackling to himself as he spelled out the words 'WEE IN THE POOS'. Noticing a shadow looming from behind him, Peeves turned his head just in time to see the Gryffindor first-year with a wand inches away from his translucent nose.

The poltergeist narrowed his eyes at the wand, his eyeballs converged to the center warily. "You shouldn't be outta bed, boy."

"Oh, really?" James grimaced to stop himself from laughing at Peeves' hilarious expression. "I can give you something better than that lame work you're doing there." He glanced up at the bathroom door.

"I did hear some kind of party's going on down the other corridor," said Peeves, the suspicious look on his face giving way to curiosity. "And I thought I heard Filch's voice screaming. That was you?"

James winked at the ghostly prankster. "You'll have to follow me to find out." In the back of the boy's mind, he couldn't help thinking: _well, that was easy._

* * *

When James returned to the hallway where Filch was swatting of the storm of paper dolls around him, he began to regret congratulating himself too early in the game. Though the caretaker was distracted by Miyu's brilliant diversion trick, all the commotions were attracting the teachers and prefects on patrol towards the source of the noise. Miyu did get Tobey and Raven out safety away from Filch's sight, but it was going to be harder for them to worm their way out of their worsening situation.

"Argus?" Flitwick's squeaky voice was closing in from the end of the hallway. "Are you alright?"

"There are students out of bed!" Filch shouted back in response. "They set this weird spell on me—they must be still hiding somewhere nearby!"

Seeing that the tide had turned, Peeves left James' side, bellowing down the corridor in a sing-song chant, "STUDENTS OUT OF BED! _STUUUUDENTS OUT OF BED!_ "

"Oh no," Tobey moaned at the sound of approaching footsteps. "Now what?"

James' eyes traveled to the only sanctuary around them: the girl's bathroom. "Let's go."

"You got to be kidding me."

* * *

"Hello boys," Moaning Myrtle greeted the four curtly, glaring at them through her pearly-white glasses. "What brings you all here to my bathroom at this hour?" Her eyes paused longer on Miyu's face; James didn't miss the the slight blush on her full cheeks.

"Sorry, Myrtle," James stepped forward and spoke up first. "Can you let us borrow your bathroom for a while?" He glanced at the door. "We need a place to hide… from a _teeny_ bit of trouble."

"And why should I?"

If she was looking for a bargain, James would gladly give her one. "I heard from Nick that you're invited to the Deathday Party," he started off, keeping his tone light. "But it'd be lonely if you go alone, wouldn't it?"

Myrtle narrowed her eyes at him. "What are you trying to say?"

James smirked as he pushed Miyu forward to the ghostly girl. "How about having a date to go to that party with you?"

Realizing what his Gryffindor friend was trying to do, Miyu spun around to face James, glowering at the taller boy with disbelief. "Hey, this isn't part of the plan—"

"Sorry pal, change of plans," James cut him off. "Just go with the flow or we'd all be dead." He glanced up at the frowning Myrtle to make his point.

"If you think for one second that I'm going to back down—" Miyu began, but James slapped a hand over his mouth, flashing a wide grin at Myrtle. "So, how does that sound?"

"Really?" Myrtle drifted down, gazing at Miyu in the eye. "Will go to the party with me?"

With the din growing louder outside the bathroom door, the Japanese boy knew he didn't have any other choice. His shoulders slouched in defeat, nodding slowly to the ghost girl.

"Very well, we have a deal." Myrtle's usually gloomy face broke out into a smile. "Just stay put and don't make any noise."

* * *

"Myrtle!" Filch barked as he crashed into the bathroom. "Have you seen any students out of bed?"

"Good evening, Mr. Filch," Myrtle greeted the caretaker, her high-pitched voice laced with sour disdain. "With all due respect, this is a _girl's_ bathroom."

Filch ignored her and tried to walk around the ghost, but Myrtle blocked his way, punching an incorporeal arm through the old man's chest. "I don't care if you're the caretaker of Hogwarts!" she screeched at his shocked face. "No one will respect you if you don't even respect them in the first place! No wonder why everyone in this school thinks you're a disgusting, worthless _git_!"

Squashed together in the last cubicle at the end of the bathroom, James and his friends had to cover their ears with their hands from Myrtle's ear-shattering voice that bounced off the marble walls around them, gnawing their lower lips to prevent themselves from bursting out with laughter at her magnificent lecture at the caretaker.

Filch could only gape stupidly at Myrtle, unable to react after being shouted at by a dead student right in the face. His ears were still ringing from her deafening screams, so Professor Flitwick had no choice but to drag the stunned caretaker away with magic, apologizing profusely at the enraged ghost girl.

Once the teachers were far gone, the boys tumbled out of the cubicle, gasping. James hadn't realized how tired he was from the running, the close calls, the tensions… and the insanity being thrown at them, all in quick successions.

"That was bloody _brilliant_ ," Tobey was the first to speak, staring at Myrtle with awe. "To think you've petrified Filch in just three, godly lines."

Myrtle ignored the Ravenclaw's praises, her attention solely on Miyu. "Sunday, six o'clock, outside Classroom Twelve," she giggled, then she turned around and threw herself down a toilet in embarrassment.

Tobey made a face at the Japanese boy. "Well, that was… lovely."

"Shut up," Miyu snarled at him, not forgetting to throw a death glare at James. "You'll remember this, _friend_."

James had to bend forward to suppress his urge to laugh. "'Dire situation calls for dire measures', yeah?" Taking in a deep breath to calm himself down, he looked up again to face his unamused housemate. "Look, I'm sorry that everything has to turn out this way. How about me going to the ghost party with you together?"

After a long, suspenseful silence, Miyu finally broke the staring contest, sighing. "Forget it. I'm not that petty."

"You're the best," James cooed, putting an arm around Miyu's shoulder. "But yeah, fun time's over. I think we should really get back to our common rooms."

Now it was Tobey's turn to snap at their cranky leader. "Isn't that what I've been saying the _whole damn time_?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompts:  
> THC | [Y1R8] Themed: Main Character - Gryffindor (James S. Potter) | [Theme] Inter-house Relationship, [Speech] "You have three seconds. Three, two, one...", [Speech] "If you think for one second that I'm going to back down..."
> 
> Inspiration:  
> "[The Houses Competition](https://www.fanfiction.net/forum/The-Houses-Competition/202668)" by MoonlightForgotten.


	5. James S. Potter and the Stairway to Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone has lots of regrets in their lifetime, but nothing can be worse than betting your life on a dangerous whim you shouldn't have agreed to in the first place. At all.

**JAMES S. POTTER**  
**…and the Stairway to Hell**

James Sirius Potter was never a morning person; it was worse when he joined the little party in his dorm room till the wee hours. Groaning, he tried to get up from his cozy four-poster bed, taking every ounce of his willpower to ignore his body screaming at him to tuck himself back under the sheet again.

He surveyed the chaotic state of the room around him: Exploding Snap cards, candy wrappers, broken quills, and crushed parchments were scattered everywhere… even their dirty socks were among the trash. The mere sight of the mess made him wrinkle his nose in disgust. Thankfully, he didn't need to deal with this—by the time he had returned from class, one of the house-elves would have it all cleaned up in a jiffy.

"Morning."

James jumped out of his bed at a voice right beside his ear; it belonged to his Japanese friend and roommate, Miyu Kisaragi. "That surprised me."

"How long are you going to stay in bed?" If James didn't know better, Miyu spoke the exact same words that James' mother, Ginny, would say every single morning back home. Unlike Ginny's reprimanding tone, Miyu's sounded closer to amusement.

"Yeah, yeah." James tried to wave him off. "Let me change out of my pajamas first."

"Well," Miyu maintained the same light-hearted tone as he watched James pulling his shirt over his head. "Better hurry up… or we'll be really late for class."

The last line hit James like a truck, and he nearly tripped over his own trunk from the shock of realization. He then threw his pillow at his friend. "Say that earlier, dammit!"

* * *

James was grateful that Miyu had grabbed some breakfast from the Great Hall for him, which he shoved down his throat as the duo dashed out of the portrait-hole towards the moving staircases. Looking down, James couldn't help letting out a sigh.

"It's a really long way to get down from up here," he complained. "Why must the first class be Potions? In the freaky, _freaking_ dungeons?"

Miyu shrugged, rolling his eyes at James. "It's your fault for oversleeping, you know."

James glared at his Gryffindor companion, then he noticed the glint in Miyu's dark eyes. "And it looks like you have an idea of sorts."

"I do," Miyu replied, shrugging. "Not the first time I tried this, but it's not something I'd recommend to someone like you."

"What do you mean?" James narrowed his eyes at his friend. "You mean those kung fu shenanigans?" He glanced down at the stairs again. "Like, you'll _literally_ jump down all these staircases like this? Are you bloody serious?"

"Yeah, that's what I plan to do." Miyu smirked at the horrified look on James' face. "Not exactly the kind of 'kung fu' with wires and visual effects you'd see in Chinese muggle movies, but I guess you can put it that way."

James was still finding it hard to imagine how the two of them would be able to survive a fall from where they were, high up at the Gryffindor Tower. "But… won't that be suicidal?"

"There's a way…" Miyu replied, already strolling down the first staircase that had stopped before the boys. "But it's obviously going to be risky—what?"

His partner was clearly unprepared for the mischievous grin that broke out on James' face. "Sounds fun. Count me in."

* * *

Moments later, James utterly regretted his decision.

The whole trip down the labyrinthine moving staircases felt like a dizzying daze to him: most of the time Miyu was dragging him around by the collar of his robes and timing their jump to the next staircase below. The Japanese boy was using his own brand of Eastern magic to cushion their fall—which seemed like some kind of spell that could gather the air around the boys—and they continued their descent in a blur.

"D-D-Dude, slow down," James gasped. He could feel his heart hammering wildly against his chest with each fall. "Jeez, this is seriously _mental_."

"I've already warned you," Miyu said in a nonchalant manner. "That I don't recommend this method to get to class on time, especially for people like you who have never gone through rigorous training to strengthen the body and mind."

"You mean, like the Japanese Zen, or whatever that's called?"

Miyu's only reply was a shrug at him. James could tell from his friend's expression that he was merely trying not to burst out laughing, which only served to annoy James. Then a thought suddenly occurred to him. Why didn't he think of it earlier?

"Can't we just, you know, use our brooms?"

Miyu arched an eyebrow at his suggestion. "And land ourselves in _double_ detention for being late for class and illegal flying within the castle? Not to mention, having our broomsticks confiscated, and then banned from participating in Quidditch for the rest of the year?" He didn't even bother to hide his disbelief. "Now _you_ are the one who's mental."

 _Okay, Miyu has a point there._ James' shoulders sagged when he reconsidered the idea again. "You did say that this wasn't your first time doing this crazy shtick."

"The first time was last year," Miyu replied, his eyes still trained on the staircases below to predict their movements. "Broke an arm because of a miscalculation, but I've gotten better after a few more practices."

"Blimey." Sometimes James couldn't tell if his partner-in-crime was dangerously fearless, or he was just batshit crazy.

"Anyway, less talk, and let's move." Miyu tugged at James' collar again. "We're really running out of time now."

* * *

The last fall to the ground was the hardest, and James couldn't help wincing as he got up to his feet. Luckily for him he didn't break any of his bones, but the soreness was worse than the time they were training in a thunderstorm during one of their Quidditch practices. He looked straight towards the dark corridor that would lead to the dungeon classrooms where their Potion class was located. It was still a distance away, and James wasn't sure he had any energy left to drag himself down the creepy, damp hallway and still reach the class on time.

"I can't go on anymore."

"M-Me neither." Miyu was panting next to James. Dragging a dead weight around had probably made him more tired than usual. He sucked the air a few times to catch his breath before he continued, "You're such a pain in the ass sometimes… but you're my best friend."

James sniggered at the sarcastic compliment. "I love you too, bro. So… what now?"

He watched Miyu in deep thought, then the latter pulled out two pieces of paper talismans, slapping one onto James' back. "I've never tried this before, but dire situations call for dire measures."

James grinned upon hearing the familiar quote Miyu would always say whenever they were in a pinch. Unfortunately, Miyu didn't seem to share the same sentiment and glared at James instead, probably trying to wipe the smirk off his buddy's face. "I suggest you brace yourself… because I still can't control this magic well."

"Wait, wha—"

Before James could finish his sentence, Miyu merely grabbed his arm and chanted, " _Fuuka Hibu!_ " *****

James could only open his mouth in a silent scream as he felt a blast of wind punching into his back, and the pair rocketed into the dark corridor.

* * *

Miyu wasn't joking when he said he had little control over this magic that he was using on them as they zipped deeper down the damp hallways towards the dungeon classrooms, crashing painfully into a pillar when Miyu tried to maneuver sharply around a corner. As the Potions classroom loomed before them, Miyu couldn't stop their flight fast enough, causing the two boys to slam face-on into the door and crashed into the dungeon, landing in a heap of tangled robes and limbs.

"Well, well."

James looked up into the green eyes of Professor Cross, the Potions Master, who stared down at the boys with a sneer. "Late for class with a dramatic entrance and a broken door. So Gryffindor-like of you."

"Hey, we're only just a _teeny weeny bit_ past the dot—" James began once he got up on his feet, only to have Miyu giving a kick to his shin. The agonizing pain was enough to make him shut up.

"Mr. Potter," Professor Cross bent down and went eye to eye with James until their noses were inches away from each other. "It seems that you have learned to hold back that cheeky tongue of yours a tad better than before. Fifty points _from_ Gryffindor for your commendable effort…" Then he glanced at Miyu, who was looking at everywhere but the teacher. "Another fifty for damage to school property, and detention for you two. Now move along to your seats."

And James was never late for class again after the incident.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translation:  
> " _Fuuka Hibu_ " (風華飛舞) - lit. Dancing Flight of Wind Flowers
> 
> Prompt:  
> THC | [Y3R5] Standard: Featured Character - Gryffindor (James S. Potter) | [Event] Late for class
> 
> Inspiration:  
> "[The Houses Competition](https://www.fanfiction.net/forum/The-Houses-Competition/202668)" by MoonlightForgotten.

**Author's Note:**

> Oneshots by Tsubasa Kurono.  
>  _Harry Potter_ series © J. K. Rowling.
> 
> (Reprinted from [DESTiNY CHRoNiCLE | WordPress](https://destinychronicle.wordpress.com/fandoms/hpff/jsp-oneshots))


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